Too tired to come up with a witty title.

So, yesterday, I forgot to tell you about our GPS woman.  Last year, the woman from Spain was a horrible bitch!  She was nasty and if we missed something she sounded annoyed.  Now we have a British woman and she's not too bad, however, she's not very explicit.  For instance, we made a turn and got on to a road and she said, "Continue on this road...for a long time."  A long time?  WTF?  How long?  How many miles.  Luckily, it wasn't too long.


We didn't have too strong of a plan to get up.  We figured we'd get out to where we wanted to go by 9:30 and figured we'd be up at 8 for breakfast.  I remember the alarm going off and Jess shut it off, so we ended getting up at 8:30 and had to rush to get ourselves together and eat.  I couldn't find my passport and almost shit the bed.  After sending Jess out to the car, I checked in a spot I had already checked and found it.  So I ran out and told her and we went to breakfast.


We headed over to St. Martin's Church - it is the longest continuous serving English speaking church in the world (580).  As we headed up towards the entrance a man and his wife were walking down.  He asked if we were going to the church and we said yes, to which he replied, "Oh, just in time, wasn't sure anyone was coming.  We ended a little early."  With that he took out the key and took us inside.  Apparently, he volunteers his time so that people can see it.  

The church itself was awesome - one of those ones that you see on tv, or think wow, this is what it must have been like then.  The church itself dates back to the second century, I believe.  It was first constructed by the Romans and then when the area was taken over again by the pagans, and the Christians fled the pope sent St. Augustine there to reintroduce Christianity.  Of course, there are a bunch of different areas in the church but the oldest was the spot with the Romans walls where Queen Bertha used to worship.  The church grounds were still open afterwards and we walked around the cemetery taking pictures.  Ok, I walked around and took pictures while Jess got in my way.  Actually she was pretty good.  Did I mention it was cold and slightly drizzly?  


Next we headed to St. Augustine's Abbey.  There were tons of ruins. The area was pretty awesome.  We got inside and the guy at the counter asked if we would like to buy the Historic England Pass, to which Jess' response was, "I want to punch someone in the face!"  She then went on to explain how we were told that you couldn't get the pass unless it was online or at the visitors center.  The guy told her that it wasn't the same pass, however, he's want to punch someone too.  That's my girls, if it's not two chicks in the outfield at Citizens Bank Park, it's some poor guy working the line at St. Augustine's Abbey in Canterbury, UK!


It's another one of those spots that I don't think I can explain as well as I can show you.  The area had a lot of architecture that was very Norman, as does much of the area, thanks to their invasion in 1066.  It's hard to imagine the French conquering anything but I guess the Brits were having a bad spell and the Anglo-Saxons, spurred on by Norwegian blood must have gotten the better of them.  As expected, there were lots of broken buildings and stonework as well as old foundations.  The area was ruined, as were most places when Henry VIII broke from the Catholic Church and decided to crap on everything Catholic that he did not already take for himself.  The abbey fell into disrepair and Henry built a palace there for Anne of Cleaves.  In time, the abbey was just raided and its stone taken for other projects.  There was even an ad announcing how much the stones and other tiles would cost. 

Next we headed over to Canterbury Cathedral another site that Henry raided, destroying the shrine to Archbishop Thomas Beckett. We arrived on time and this was a surprise. As a matter of fact, we arrived early which was part of the plan - this way I could take pictures of the outside while we waited to go in and then take right off when we were done. 

The cathedral was pretty cool as a matter of fact it was quite large. Jess wasn't as impressed. I thought it went on for a really long time. The coolest part was probably the crypts but you are not supposed to take pictures of them.


Notice I said supposed.








































We walked around and saw as much as possible. I think we basically saw everything. One of the side chapels had some cool paintings that you could still see on the stonework. It was pretty beautiful. It wasn't in every spot but you could imagine what it used to look like and that they must have done that to all of them thus making it pretty amazing. We headed out and Jess needed to get starbucks while I took pictures of the outside. Luckily, I slipped off to the side and found an entrance to the cloisters. I hung out there for a bit and took a bunch of pictures. I was responsible and headed over to starbucks to find Jess, she was paying so it was perfect timing. Unfortunately, she didn't even get me some hot chocolate. So much for being responsible with the picture taking.

On the way back to the car we stopped at a tea house to get me a meat pie. That's right I said it, meat pie. The building and the one next to it, or vice versatile was from 1550! Pretty cool, I don't think there is anything like that in the US. I got a Cornish pasty, it had some stuff, mixed with some other stuff in some flaky crusty stuff. It was pretty good. We got back to the car and headed to Dover Castle. We were really concerned because we didn't know if we would have enough time to see everything we wanted to see there. Even though it was like 18 miles, the GPS woman said we had to stay on the road for a long time. It's slightly more annoying because of her accent. We made it in relatively good time the bonus is that it was already on the Historic England list.

I had wanted to see the place because of the 1st Century Roman lighthouse which just for the record was not covered by some gigantic cloth or scaffolding. I also wanted to see the secret wartime tunnels. Apparently they did some really cool stuff there during WW II. Once we got there we signed up for the secret tour and had about 25 minutes or so to roam around before heading there. We zipped up to the great tower area and did see too much before heading to the tour. Apparently there are at least three levels, the one we got to go in was where they did medical work on injured soldiers. One of the others are from the Napoleonic Wars. There are medieval tunnels as well.

I can't really imagine having to live down there during that time. The Germans were bombing them and they did a good job of what it must have been like while the lights were going out. It all reminded me of what you would see in a movie that was supposed to the during the 50s and in a nuclear bomb shelter. The tunnels were metal and there wasn't a lot there. Being stuck in there with a bunch of guys would not be how I would have wanted to spend the war. Not that getting shot at by Germans,Italians or the Japanese is any better. when the tour was dome we headed back up to see the Roman lighthouse and Norman church. The lighthouse was awesome. I mean architecturally speaking, it's a frigging tower but that fact that it has been there since the first century is really awesome. It was one of two that were there to guide ships but this was the only one standing. It's really hard to think about the Roman occupation of Britain because we think and know so much about them form their other feats but the truth is, there is a lot of roman stuff still here and we don't really think about it.

We headed back to the Great Tower and went up in that. There was a small drawbridge there and that was pretty friggin cool. It was pretty cool, it was a tower, it was stone, etc. We went up to the roof and you couldn't see too much because of the rain and fog but we still went up to try to get some good pics. I went from one tower to another to see if the fog was slightly less thick but no luck. I headed up to the last tower, Jess had already walked away from me by then. As I approached the stairs, this guy slips and busts his ass on the stone steps. I mean busts his ass. He's definitely hurting. I'm not laughing and I head over to help the man. I stick out my hand to see if he wants help and the motherfucker says. "No, this is my some here.". And with that some goofy kid comes down the stair. So I'm like altitude, fuck off then governor, enjoy you wet pants. I mean shit, sure your embarrassed and you may even be hurt but at least say thanks for offering. Dick. I should have taken his picture.

Dover Castle is massive and we're trying to whet through as quickly as possible so that we can go see the White Cliffs of Dover, which we'll no doubt not get to see because that's our luck with cliffs. We walked over the kings gate and headed to the medieval tunnels which were nothing too amazing, just that they were old and medieval and shit.

The goal was to head out of there and get to see the White Cliffs. Which we were able to do in time before they closed the gate. We drove to the nearest parking lot and did the geocache that was there, and earth cache for you avid geocachers. Three easy things to do and we could log it. We headed out to the cliffs and the trails were muddy as hell. I'm not complaining just a little surprised, though I shouldn't be, I mean it has been raining the entire frigging time we've been here. We couldn't get too close despite out attempts to find the trails below us, but the cliffs were pretty cool. It takes about 100,000 years to create a cm of chalk. Nuts, right?


We decided to head out after having no luck getting closer and we hit another geocache sort of on the property. Jess parked and I ran and grabbed it, though I wish she had come. I headed up this thin set of stairs and when I got to the top this large jackrabbit took off down the trail. I say to myself, shit, this is gonna be some kind of Alice in Wonderland crap. I head down the rabbit hole and the trail leads to this overgrown stand, complete with vines in arches that cross the trail. I head up it and keep going and the trail comes to gate. It looks like private property however, it cold pass for a walking trail. Theres a lot of giant shit, looking like horse crap. I head in and right for the cache - found it with no problem. I sign the log and look up and see an awesome view of the castle. I finish with the log and look in the other direction and there are three huge horses. Definitely worth the view and one of the reasons we love going geocaching in other places. Got back to the car and then took some other pics of the castle and we headed to our hotel. Again, no problems, we get to our bed and breakfast and our room is part of a farm house from 1460. Yes, 1460. The house is so old that they think some of the beams that were used were around during the time of William the Conqueror in 1066. The house is amazing, and I am most definitely jealous. We have arrangements to eat here and we meet Caroline, one of the owners and Larry, who has been staying here for over a year. Yes, you heard me, over a year. He does some kind of consulting for mining companies all over the world. It's easier for him to live here for work travel rather than California,because he travels to Africa, Russia and was just in Romania. I have a feeling that he's LOADED!!! He's a real nice guy and very interesting and has definitely been to a ton of places, probably more than us. Sam, the big black Labrador is pretty cool. He went and sat laid right in front of the wood burning stove which is housed in a massive fireplace, straight out of the show The Tudors. I want one.

We ate, ok I ate a ton at dinner. Chicken, and veggies and potatoes, and then an apple blackberry cobbler with custard. Oh man that shit was good. Jess complimented Caroline on her dinner table and she told us how during the war her dad's property had to be cleared so they could connect a bunch of landing strips for the RAF, the wood was cut down and was left on the property, so they took the wood and used it and he took some of that wood an made it in to planks for the table - how awesome! We after dinner we went up to the room go relax and then headed out to the pub which a bunch of people who lived near by all chipped in to purchase and get running again. It was very mellow and after being stuffed I couldn't do a ton of drinking but did manage to get down two pints of Guinness. We headed back and are both on the Internet but really, it's time for bed because were exhausted and boring you. The weather blows, the sites are awesome and maybe tomorrow will bring something for me to yell about but I hope not.