I can't believe that I forgot about the pros and cons of the B&B in Liverpool. The house was beautiful, I'm not sure exactly what the style would be considered but the main entrance was somewhat craftsman like, with the wood and stained glass windows. It really was beautiful. The moulding work was also pretty awesome and the entrance room had huge ceilings.
When we went to bed Jess almost had a heart attack. There was no top sheet on the bed, just the comforter. This was not going over well and I know that we have experienced this before - not like the night before in Cardiff where there was a slip sown in to the sheet where they put your pillow so it was all one piece. That was total bullshit not to mention that the bed was hard as a rock, like sleeping on fucking plywood. It's later and I know she is not going to call or ring, so what's she gonna do? After checking the closet where we put our coats, she checked the dresser, no sheet. She looked in the bathroom. No sheet. She goes back to the closet and finds a cotton blanket which she reasons they must have washed because it's cotton. I'm not saying anything because 1. the comforter was already on the bed and 2. we'll never get to sleep and I won't get any of the blanket because she will be wrapped up in it like a burrito.
We had a decent breakfast and hopped in the car so that we could go to the Liverpool team store. It's really not so scary looking there in the daytime but at night, holy shit. We probably spent about an hour in the shop, checking stuff out and I ended up buying two sweatshirts, two shirts commemorating two of our five European Cup Championships and a personalized coffee mug! I can't mention what Jess bought because that might ruin the surprise.
We hoped back on the motorway for the hopefully not long trip to Blenheim Palace, home of John Churchill, Duke of Marlborough and ancestor of Winston Churchill. The palace was massive. I wasn't expecting it to be that large. Apparently he was a very important military general for the British in the late 1600s. As a gift for his services, the Queen gave him this land and he started to build on it. He also received a hereditary title and it's the only other one there that can be passed on to a daughter if necessary. This happened just once and they are now up to the 11th duke, who by the way is 84 and has a 54 year old wife (it's good to be the Duke), she's also his fourth wife. The palace like others we have seen is definitely worth a look if you're there. It's not as ornate as some but it definitely has the feel and opening layout of Versailles. King George when visiting was rumored to say "We have nothing like this!". The family chapel was really ornate. I think probably the part that we enjoyed most was Churchill's letters home to his dad while he was in school. He was pretty funny. I'm not sure if he was just very matter-of-fact or if he was purposely sarcastic or faking sincerity but most of the letters dealt with him needing more money or something going wrong with a watch he was given which lead to him needing more money to replace it.
Our plan was to head in to Oxford next and walk around the town but after all the rain, and the driving we decided to head to the B&B instead. This place used to be an old bakehouse which was owned by a Frenchman. He was pretty funny and very nice and kept the place clean. Jess got mud from her boots on his nice cream colored carpet. He almost died. The pillows were detached from the sheets and there was even a top sheet! We headed to a local pub to get some dinner and that was pretty uneventful. I had some steak and Guinness and Jess had them grill her up some veggies. It was just like home but without having to clean anything afterwards.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Ever had the wind knocked out of you?
That's about the nicest way I could describe some of the events to follow.
The ride to Wales was really quite uneventful. We arrived at our hostel, got our stuff in and headed out to get some food. The hostel was across the street and river from Cardiff's rugby team's stadium. Our room was really small. I mean small. This was probably the smallest room we have ever been in. Im talking, bunkbeds, some quasi dresser in the corner and like about a foot to the wall, that's it. We had to move around and do some serious Twister just to move around. If one of us wanted to leave, you hand to land on left foot and red.
We walked to a pub, yes, I can tell you're surprised. They were almost done serving so we made some decisions and got up to the bar to order. We sat down to wait and the bartender forgets our drinks. A bunch of people come in and order. So after a few minutes Jess heads up there and he seats he'll bring them. The food start coming out and were eating and all of a sudden the area where we are is getting swarmed by mid 60ish people. There had to be like twenty of them just milling about our area. They were everywhere, blocking the tv and just generally in the way. The people were fine not rude or anything just swarming around and in the way.
After dinner we decided to walk through the park that was there and head in to the town to see if Cardiff Castle was lit up and we could see it. It was not lit up well and we could see it but certainly not enough that we would be satisfied. There were flags from other countries on all the ramparts but I could not find the US flag and of course that was pissing me off. WTF did we do to the Welsh? We walked around to look for a cache and look at the cathedral and it definitely was not there (the cache not the cathedral) so we decided to head back to the hostel and the smallest room in the UK. On the way back there were a ton of clubs and even more young chicks puking on the street. Mind you, it's 9:30. Some were puking in the garbage, others I think on their shoes, one guy of course taking the cheap feel from behind. We got back in and decided to call it a night because we needed to get up and then head to the happiest place on Earth.
We got up and had breakfast after Jess moved the car down to a pay spot which was fine. We packed up the car and headed over Cardiff Castle. The area that was walled was pretty large. There was a gate and right smacking the middle a keep on a man build mound and that was pretty cool. We took the tour which took you in to a bunch of rooms that were not open on the general tour. The original and the mound was built by William the Conqueror and continued to grow from there. I believe that at some point it fell in to disuse but was then saved andurchased by the Lord of Bute, who at the time was the richest man in Europe. Oh yeah, he was a Scot, so of course he was brilliant, rich and very good looking. He was so rich that he wanted the place to be redesigned as a medieval castle including all of the friezes on the walls and gilded stuff all the moulding and stuff. The place was done up in a really eccentric way. The children's nursery had characters from popular children's! stories painted in medieval motif. The whole place was done up with tons of detail, i think he just didn't know how to spend all of the money he had. It was not my style but it was still cool because it was a castle and if I had a ton of dough, I'd build a castle with a deep ass moat and all. At one point some cheap bastard snuck in to our tour on the other side of the rope. The guide handled it really well, i would have been like, "uh, yeah, sir, this is a private tour. You cheap turd." I took a bunch of pictures and we decided to go and get some lunch for the ride to Liverpool.
We got back to the car, full of hope and happiness for the long but what should be worth it ride ahead of us. We expect the ride to be somewhere between 3.5 and 4 hours. We should be able to get to our room and then take the bus over to Anfield.
Before leaving we had to get gas, the first time the entire trip. We have a VW Golf and it's a TDI - I may actually have to get a diesel at home because the gas mileage is amazing. We get up to the pump and I can't pay for it at the pump with my cart. It's a TESCO which is like COSTCO but you don't have to be a member. It won't take my card probably because we don't have the stupid chip so I go inside and wait on the long line. After quite a few minutes of waiting I get up there and the woman tells me, no, you have to pump first. I went in to give them cash so I could fill up. Really, so I go back out and and another woman asks us if there is a problem and we say it's not working and she says that the one we we're on is for fuel only and we can use any of the others. Fucking whatever, it's been 10 minutes already and we have no gas, so we get on another line, four cars deep. We are waiting for a few minutes and like the person in front of us, are waiting for the second person to finish so she can drive through to the first pump and we can take the second. Next to us some asshole zips off his line to the front of ours, Jess starts beeping, the lady is beeping and this dude has cut the line. He gets out and is laughing at her, and she's yelling. I didn't know they had fucking white trash in Wales, because that's exactly what he was, and I should know that being white trash crosses boundaries, especially after seeing all the drunk chicks puking and getting felt up on the streets of Cardiff. We get up to the pump and it wont take my card and says there is a fucking error. I'm not getting on another fucking line. Jess goes in to talk to the woman, and tells her the pump needs to be reset and they start talking about it and some other crazy bitch is in the store and not even on the line and the woman tells Jess she will come outside with her to check it out and the woman screams! Jess and the attendant head outside and the woman agrees with her and resets the thing. I'm pumping and Jess goes back inside, the crazy woman apologizes to her and says she's on some new meds. Really? Finally full of diesel, we're on our way but we're not too far behind schedule.
We going and things are going well. We're moving along and then we start to hear a few reports on the news. There's been an accident and at least one lane is closed, there are going to be delays. Ok, not too bad, we left later than expected but from what I've been told, it doesn't really get started until about 45 minutes before the game - the singing and the banner waving in the Kop, the building of the atmosphere for the game...we should still be there in more than enough time to soak it all up and enjoy the experience.
There's another report a different accident and traffic is queuing, which is the fancy British way of saying it fucking backed up to the Southern State from Pennsylvania Avenue on the Belt. The little arrows on the GPS are building up a little ways ahead of us, Jess isn't driving the speed limit let alone 10-20 mph ahead of it, this does not look good. Jess has to pee.
Sure, why not. I would love nothing more than to be late to the first fucking European Football game in Europe that I get to go to. Oh yeah, AND it's the club I have supported since 1996. Let's pee, get a bite to eat and a massage. Traffic is queuing, rather it's getting jam fucking packed, there's another accident and oh, what's this, another report on our road? Sure, let's stop. In case you can't tell, I'm getting fucking anxious.
The GPS woman is working her ass off trying to figure out how to divert us around some of the traffic in Birmingham and get us around that which she does but it doesn't make a massive amount of a difference because the traffic starts fucking queuing on that road as well. Queue rhymes with fuck you.
Long story short with less cursing is that we left at 12:30 and got to within a quarter mile of the stadium by like 6, when the game starts. I'm pissed and Jess, has to talk because that's what women do. Jess likes to question too. So she questions me for a good 45 minutes of this trip, my short answers do not even slow her barrage one bit. Her final question, "So what's the thing you fear most?" prompted the response, "Being stuck in a car with someone for five and a half hours and having them pepper me with questions when I am not really in the mood to talk : )" As expected, that went over like a lead balloon.
Five and a half fucking hours. Liverpool near the stadium at night is fucking scary. Real scary. Like the shittiest area of the South Bronx scary. I'm antsy, it's six pm, the game had started, Jess is pressing me to make a decision on where to go because we can't seem to find parking, because, well, there is none. Not like stadiums at home. We ask two guys walking to the match if there is any and they send us back down the street to look for the car park sign, it's five pounds. So, we head down and find the signs, it points in to a housing project kind of a place and it doesn't look like there's a lot. As a matter of fact, I don't know where the fuck we are and neither do the people in front of us or behind us also looking for the car park. We ask some woman and her baby daddy pushing a pram where the car park is and she says, in the thickest fucking scouse-ghetto scary accent, "Am-er-ok luv it's jus' back there luv. Backit up and coman o'er here." With that, she points to some make shift ramp up and over the curb, then she screams over to some guy on the other side of the sidewalk in a yellow vest and he waves us over. We pull over there and down the curb, not causing any damage to the car (not that I would have cared because it is already 10 after) and he points us down this alley which may or may not house some kind of legitimate business during the day. I know they've heard my accent and they're drooling, just licking their chops. I'm not really sure about this but it's 10 after and we're fucking late. We get out and I dump the iPad in the back, along with the macbook, and the new GPS, just um, I dunno, around 3K worth of electronics, in the rental in some lot in a real shitty section of Liverpool. Not sure just how insane I am, but this clearly confirms some level of insanity. I gave the guy five pounds and why not, he's gonna need bus fare to get to the fucking pawn shop to sell my shit.
We race through the streets and get to Anfield, we've both got to pee, Jess worse than I do. Did I just hear glass break and an alarm go off?
We ask where to get our tickets and they tell us where I think we are in the right spot, but it doesn't seem right. We ask someone else and he sends us to the regular ticket stand, she tells us to go to the spot near where our seats are, the when we get over there, another guy says to go to other side of the stadium to the corporate ticket sales. It's at least a quarter after. The next guy, says he will walk us over there and he loves that we're American and Jess' accent. He's asking her to say all sorts of stuff, he loves how she says Oh My God, and he gets us to the corporate spot and the office is closed. Jess has to pee and is getting angry, she asks if there is anything they can do, call on a walkie or something and they're all fucking laid back. She's getting angry and sees a bathroom and takes off in there. She's angry. I know to step back because if she's pissed, it's only going to fuel me on. So the guy and I are waiting for her and he's talking to me and is like, "Oh, you're from NY, I can tell from your accent." I say, yeah I am, and this whole thing is fucked up, because we've been in the car for five and a half fucking hours from Cardiff and the fucking game is on and it's twenty minutes in already and no one knows where my fucking tickets are. He agrees but let's be honest, we both know there ain't shit he can or will do about it. Conversation over.
Jess comes out of the bathroom and says she's more agreeable now that she has gone. He walks us over to a woman at reception who does not have our tickets and says we have to go to the same spot on the other side, where we were. We get back there and we're finally in the right spot and the guy gets us our tickets and walks us through the bar area and tells us to come back to get our programs, they're out now. We walk up and find our section and someone walks us to our seats, it's 30 minutes in, the entire row needs to get up so we can get to our seats.
I'm the fucking people I hate a Mets' games.
I apologize to everyone as we pass and we get to our seats an there's someone in them. Get the fuck up. They're sort of arguing, people are standing up and blocking others' view. I'm trying to watch the game and Jess is telling them they need to move, as is the lady who we are siting next to, she agrees that we are in the right spot. Finally we sit down. The traveling fans from Prague were standing and singing the entire time. The rest of the place was actually pretty quiet. It's all very proper and not what I expected. It was too quiet.
I forgot the charged batter for my Cannon in the car.
I also left my Liverpool hat and scarf because I was trying not to let all the derelicts see what was in the trunk.
It's about 33 minutes into the half. Joe Cole just took about 5 too many touches and has missed the fucking goal.
The seat are really tight. I mean TIGHT. Like my knees are in the person in front of me. Oh yeah, we're on the touchline of the Anfield Road end in the Centenary Stand.
Before we know it, it's half time. We try to make our way out to the bar area again. The hallway is tight. I'm talking 10 minutes to walk 100 feet. No wonder there are fucking major catastrophes at these games, there is literally no where to move. How the hell could they evacuate during an emergency? It was so quiet in here as well, you could hear a pin drop. It was silent.
We get to the bar and get a drink each. My Guinness is nowhere near the top. As a matter of fact, it's spilling over the sides as if he's shaken it like a martini. We down our drinks - with nothing in our bellies and head back. The game has started AGAIN but luckily we're not the last to our seats.
Oh yeah, we're also not playing a strong squad: no Gerrard, no Carragher, no Johnson, no Skrtel. No Suarez or Carroll. Why are we here?
Carra gets subbed in later and somewhere in the 80something minute, Kuyt heads one in to the back of the net!!! It's about time something went right.
The game ended and we won and are now moving on the the Europa League Round of 16. The game goes by so much faster when you're there. Seriously, 45 minutes for the half felt like 5. We head out and get our programs and attempt to go to the club shop. Stupid move, it was so packed, even more so than my seat and the halls inside. We get separated, I finally find her and say, "Let's get the fuck out of here before they take the tires too." We make our way back to the car and breathe a BIG sigh of relief as the car is there and no one seems to have busted in. We use the navigation unit and avoid a good deal of traffic and get to our B&B (more on this tomorrow). We go and get some amazing Greek food from our Turkish waiter. The food really was good - some of the best I've ever had, Greek or otherwise. We walk back to the place, and try to get on the internet but cannot.
While I expected my first trip to see Liverpool at Anfield to be breathtaking, I never expected it to be so anti-climactic as being kicked in the nuts and losing your breath! That being said, I love my wife for taking and driving the five and a half hours to get me there during her vacation as well. She won't admit it, but she had a good time there too.
The ride to Wales was really quite uneventful. We arrived at our hostel, got our stuff in and headed out to get some food. The hostel was across the street and river from Cardiff's rugby team's stadium. Our room was really small. I mean small. This was probably the smallest room we have ever been in. Im talking, bunkbeds, some quasi dresser in the corner and like about a foot to the wall, that's it. We had to move around and do some serious Twister just to move around. If one of us wanted to leave, you hand to land on left foot and red.
We walked to a pub, yes, I can tell you're surprised. They were almost done serving so we made some decisions and got up to the bar to order. We sat down to wait and the bartender forgets our drinks. A bunch of people come in and order. So after a few minutes Jess heads up there and he seats he'll bring them. The food start coming out and were eating and all of a sudden the area where we are is getting swarmed by mid 60ish people. There had to be like twenty of them just milling about our area. They were everywhere, blocking the tv and just generally in the way. The people were fine not rude or anything just swarming around and in the way.
After dinner we decided to walk through the park that was there and head in to the town to see if Cardiff Castle was lit up and we could see it. It was not lit up well and we could see it but certainly not enough that we would be satisfied. There were flags from other countries on all the ramparts but I could not find the US flag and of course that was pissing me off. WTF did we do to the Welsh? We walked around to look for a cache and look at the cathedral and it definitely was not there (the cache not the cathedral) so we decided to head back to the hostel and the smallest room in the UK. On the way back there were a ton of clubs and even more young chicks puking on the street. Mind you, it's 9:30. Some were puking in the garbage, others I think on their shoes, one guy of course taking the cheap feel from behind. We got back in and decided to call it a night because we needed to get up and then head to the happiest place on Earth.
We got up and had breakfast after Jess moved the car down to a pay spot which was fine. We packed up the car and headed over Cardiff Castle. The area that was walled was pretty large. There was a gate and right smacking the middle a keep on a man build mound and that was pretty cool. We took the tour which took you in to a bunch of rooms that were not open on the general tour. The original and the mound was built by William the Conqueror and continued to grow from there. I believe that at some point it fell in to disuse but was then saved andurchased by the Lord of Bute, who at the time was the richest man in Europe. Oh yeah, he was a Scot, so of course he was brilliant, rich and very good looking. He was so rich that he wanted the place to be redesigned as a medieval castle including all of the friezes on the walls and gilded stuff all the moulding and stuff. The place was done up in a really eccentric way. The children's nursery had characters from popular children's! stories painted in medieval motif. The whole place was done up with tons of detail, i think he just didn't know how to spend all of the money he had. It was not my style but it was still cool because it was a castle and if I had a ton of dough, I'd build a castle with a deep ass moat and all. At one point some cheap bastard snuck in to our tour on the other side of the rope. The guide handled it really well, i would have been like, "uh, yeah, sir, this is a private tour. You cheap turd." I took a bunch of pictures and we decided to go and get some lunch for the ride to Liverpool.
We got back to the car, full of hope and happiness for the long but what should be worth it ride ahead of us. We expect the ride to be somewhere between 3.5 and 4 hours. We should be able to get to our room and then take the bus over to Anfield.
Before leaving we had to get gas, the first time the entire trip. We have a VW Golf and it's a TDI - I may actually have to get a diesel at home because the gas mileage is amazing. We get up to the pump and I can't pay for it at the pump with my cart. It's a TESCO which is like COSTCO but you don't have to be a member. It won't take my card probably because we don't have the stupid chip so I go inside and wait on the long line. After quite a few minutes of waiting I get up there and the woman tells me, no, you have to pump first. I went in to give them cash so I could fill up. Really, so I go back out and and another woman asks us if there is a problem and we say it's not working and she says that the one we we're on is for fuel only and we can use any of the others. Fucking whatever, it's been 10 minutes already and we have no gas, so we get on another line, four cars deep. We are waiting for a few minutes and like the person in front of us, are waiting for the second person to finish so she can drive through to the first pump and we can take the second. Next to us some asshole zips off his line to the front of ours, Jess starts beeping, the lady is beeping and this dude has cut the line. He gets out and is laughing at her, and she's yelling. I didn't know they had fucking white trash in Wales, because that's exactly what he was, and I should know that being white trash crosses boundaries, especially after seeing all the drunk chicks puking and getting felt up on the streets of Cardiff. We get up to the pump and it wont take my card and says there is a fucking error. I'm not getting on another fucking line. Jess goes in to talk to the woman, and tells her the pump needs to be reset and they start talking about it and some other crazy bitch is in the store and not even on the line and the woman tells Jess she will come outside with her to check it out and the woman screams! Jess and the attendant head outside and the woman agrees with her and resets the thing. I'm pumping and Jess goes back inside, the crazy woman apologizes to her and says she's on some new meds. Really? Finally full of diesel, we're on our way but we're not too far behind schedule.
We going and things are going well. We're moving along and then we start to hear a few reports on the news. There's been an accident and at least one lane is closed, there are going to be delays. Ok, not too bad, we left later than expected but from what I've been told, it doesn't really get started until about 45 minutes before the game - the singing and the banner waving in the Kop, the building of the atmosphere for the game...we should still be there in more than enough time to soak it all up and enjoy the experience.
There's another report a different accident and traffic is queuing, which is the fancy British way of saying it fucking backed up to the Southern State from Pennsylvania Avenue on the Belt. The little arrows on the GPS are building up a little ways ahead of us, Jess isn't driving the speed limit let alone 10-20 mph ahead of it, this does not look good. Jess has to pee.
Sure, why not. I would love nothing more than to be late to the first fucking European Football game in Europe that I get to go to. Oh yeah, AND it's the club I have supported since 1996. Let's pee, get a bite to eat and a massage. Traffic is queuing, rather it's getting jam fucking packed, there's another accident and oh, what's this, another report on our road? Sure, let's stop. In case you can't tell, I'm getting fucking anxious.
The GPS woman is working her ass off trying to figure out how to divert us around some of the traffic in Birmingham and get us around that which she does but it doesn't make a massive amount of a difference because the traffic starts fucking queuing on that road as well. Queue rhymes with fuck you.
Long story short with less cursing is that we left at 12:30 and got to within a quarter mile of the stadium by like 6, when the game starts. I'm pissed and Jess, has to talk because that's what women do. Jess likes to question too. So she questions me for a good 45 minutes of this trip, my short answers do not even slow her barrage one bit. Her final question, "So what's the thing you fear most?" prompted the response, "Being stuck in a car with someone for five and a half hours and having them pepper me with questions when I am not really in the mood to talk : )" As expected, that went over like a lead balloon.
Five and a half fucking hours. Liverpool near the stadium at night is fucking scary. Real scary. Like the shittiest area of the South Bronx scary. I'm antsy, it's six pm, the game had started, Jess is pressing me to make a decision on where to go because we can't seem to find parking, because, well, there is none. Not like stadiums at home. We ask two guys walking to the match if there is any and they send us back down the street to look for the car park sign, it's five pounds. So, we head down and find the signs, it points in to a housing project kind of a place and it doesn't look like there's a lot. As a matter of fact, I don't know where the fuck we are and neither do the people in front of us or behind us also looking for the car park. We ask some woman and her baby daddy pushing a pram where the car park is and she says, in the thickest fucking scouse-ghetto scary accent, "Am-er-ok luv it's jus' back there luv. Backit up and coman o'er here." With that, she points to some make shift ramp up and over the curb, then she screams over to some guy on the other side of the sidewalk in a yellow vest and he waves us over. We pull over there and down the curb, not causing any damage to the car (not that I would have cared because it is already 10 after) and he points us down this alley which may or may not house some kind of legitimate business during the day. I know they've heard my accent and they're drooling, just licking their chops. I'm not really sure about this but it's 10 after and we're fucking late. We get out and I dump the iPad in the back, along with the macbook, and the new GPS, just um, I dunno, around 3K worth of electronics, in the rental in some lot in a real shitty section of Liverpool. Not sure just how insane I am, but this clearly confirms some level of insanity. I gave the guy five pounds and why not, he's gonna need bus fare to get to the fucking pawn shop to sell my shit.
We race through the streets and get to Anfield, we've both got to pee, Jess worse than I do. Did I just hear glass break and an alarm go off?
We ask where to get our tickets and they tell us where I think we are in the right spot, but it doesn't seem right. We ask someone else and he sends us to the regular ticket stand, she tells us to go to the spot near where our seats are, the when we get over there, another guy says to go to other side of the stadium to the corporate ticket sales. It's at least a quarter after. The next guy, says he will walk us over there and he loves that we're American and Jess' accent. He's asking her to say all sorts of stuff, he loves how she says Oh My God, and he gets us to the corporate spot and the office is closed. Jess has to pee and is getting angry, she asks if there is anything they can do, call on a walkie or something and they're all fucking laid back. She's getting angry and sees a bathroom and takes off in there. She's angry. I know to step back because if she's pissed, it's only going to fuel me on. So the guy and I are waiting for her and he's talking to me and is like, "Oh, you're from NY, I can tell from your accent." I say, yeah I am, and this whole thing is fucked up, because we've been in the car for five and a half fucking hours from Cardiff and the fucking game is on and it's twenty minutes in already and no one knows where my fucking tickets are. He agrees but let's be honest, we both know there ain't shit he can or will do about it. Conversation over.
Jess comes out of the bathroom and says she's more agreeable now that she has gone. He walks us over to a woman at reception who does not have our tickets and says we have to go to the same spot on the other side, where we were. We get back there and we're finally in the right spot and the guy gets us our tickets and walks us through the bar area and tells us to come back to get our programs, they're out now. We walk up and find our section and someone walks us to our seats, it's 30 minutes in, the entire row needs to get up so we can get to our seats.
I'm the fucking people I hate a Mets' games.
I apologize to everyone as we pass and we get to our seats an there's someone in them. Get the fuck up. They're sort of arguing, people are standing up and blocking others' view. I'm trying to watch the game and Jess is telling them they need to move, as is the lady who we are siting next to, she agrees that we are in the right spot. Finally we sit down. The traveling fans from Prague were standing and singing the entire time. The rest of the place was actually pretty quiet. It's all very proper and not what I expected. It was too quiet.
I forgot the charged batter for my Cannon in the car.
I also left my Liverpool hat and scarf because I was trying not to let all the derelicts see what was in the trunk.
It's about 33 minutes into the half. Joe Cole just took about 5 too many touches and has missed the fucking goal.
The seat are really tight. I mean TIGHT. Like my knees are in the person in front of me. Oh yeah, we're on the touchline of the Anfield Road end in the Centenary Stand.
Before we know it, it's half time. We try to make our way out to the bar area again. The hallway is tight. I'm talking 10 minutes to walk 100 feet. No wonder there are fucking major catastrophes at these games, there is literally no where to move. How the hell could they evacuate during an emergency? It was so quiet in here as well, you could hear a pin drop. It was silent.
We get to the bar and get a drink each. My Guinness is nowhere near the top. As a matter of fact, it's spilling over the sides as if he's shaken it like a martini. We down our drinks - with nothing in our bellies and head back. The game has started AGAIN but luckily we're not the last to our seats.
Oh yeah, we're also not playing a strong squad: no Gerrard, no Carragher, no Johnson, no Skrtel. No Suarez or Carroll. Why are we here?
Carra gets subbed in later and somewhere in the 80something minute, Kuyt heads one in to the back of the net!!! It's about time something went right.
The game ended and we won and are now moving on the the Europa League Round of 16. The game goes by so much faster when you're there. Seriously, 45 minutes for the half felt like 5. We head out and get our programs and attempt to go to the club shop. Stupid move, it was so packed, even more so than my seat and the halls inside. We get separated, I finally find her and say, "Let's get the fuck out of here before they take the tires too." We make our way back to the car and breathe a BIG sigh of relief as the car is there and no one seems to have busted in. We use the navigation unit and avoid a good deal of traffic and get to our B&B (more on this tomorrow). We go and get some amazing Greek food from our Turkish waiter. The food really was good - some of the best I've ever had, Greek or otherwise. We walk back to the place, and try to get on the internet but cannot.
While I expected my first trip to see Liverpool at Anfield to be breathtaking, I never expected it to be so anti-climactic as being kicked in the nuts and losing your breath! That being said, I love my wife for taking and driving the five and a half hours to get me there during her vacation as well. She won't admit it, but she had a good time there too.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Bath - not all it was cracked up to be. To us anyway.
We were supposed to get up for breakfast at 8:30. I'm not sure what time we got there but we were late and the woman made it known. Not nastily but still. I don't give a shit because we're paying and quite frankly we can come an hour later if we choose.
I will admit that the dining room was packed. There ended up being three other local couples. All of them British, all of them with bad teeth. I don't get it. The pound is worth more than the dollar and they should be able to get their teeth fixed. I'm guessing it is either genetic or because of lead. Seriously, they made a lot of roofs from lead and then drank the water that came off them. Hey, it was the middle ages and what not but it could have had some serious effect on their dental evolution. In every place we go there are like four or five dentists but I swear they must only work on each other.
Anyway teeth aside, Bath is quite beautiful. Even the women were better looking here. Well, it was one of those days for your favorite traveling couple. It really is quite a surprise that we're both alive. If one of us were to have been killed though, it wouldn't have been me. Just sayin'.
We decided not to drive in to the city but to go to one of the park and rides just outside of it and take the bus in. At least we thought that was the plan. Maybe that was her plan and mine was something different or vice versa. (FYI - we're on the road to Cardiff, it's raining, dark and there's some crazy turns. Oh, boy).
Jess has to pee. Mind you it hasn't been much longer than 20 minutes since we left and she went before we left. She has to go really bad too. Like, eyeballs floating bad. She's got her legs crossed on the bus and practically in tears. She decides we should get off on the next stop and she makes a mad dash to the closest restaurant looking place and heads in. After a few minutes she comes back out and we are on our way to the abbey.
Inside, this abbey is easily the most beautiful one we have seen this trip. The ceiling is pretty ornate, the stained glass is very cool and some of it is painted. It's the usual story with the abbey. It was catholic, Henry VIII stole everything and it eventually became a C of E. We got tickets for the tower tour. It was pretty cool as well. Not as high nor as secret as the last one but it was still pretty cool. We saw where they ring the bells from, the bells and we even went out on top. You can see the city on all sides and the buildings are the same sandstone color they are in Salamanca and the architecture is pretty cool as well. It's what you do in Bath, walk around and look at the buildings - that and go to the Roman Baths.
I know I am going to sounds like a shithead but these would have been cool had we never been to Rome or seen Roman ruins elsewhere. I think I may be getting jaded. That would suck. I think part of it was ruined because there were a lot of annoying people all over the place. if you go, go early and try to avoid the crowds. apparently they can't multitask. God forbid you plug in the number in your audio guide and then walk. They all stand there mouth open and looking stupid. We made our way through the rest of the Baths and decided to head out and look for a cache or two and get some lunch. We're still not really talking at this point. Some growling and short answers and questions but we're ok.
We find one earth cache but believe the micro we are looking for is gone. We head in to some marketplace to get some food. I get a beef and veggie pie and some potato thing and Jess got some snacks and apples. The pie was good but the potato thing had some kind of Indian tasting shit in it. I'm good with most stuff but not Indian. I bit into that potato ball and wanted to vomit. I crumpled that thing up and downed a bunch of Coke to get the taste out of my mouth.
Out next stop was Pulteney Bridge, the Ponte Vecchio of England. Point Vecchio is a beautiful bridge in Florence with a bunch of shops from medieval times on it.
Yeah, not quite.
It's nice but it's not Ponte Vecchio. We walked across it and then back. There was a cool antique map store there. I figured it would be damn near impossible to get it back home without damage so, we didn't go in because I knew I would want to spend a good chunk of change.
Our next and last stop for tourist sites was the Royal Crescent. I don't remember what the story is behind it but they are basically this row of houses that are in the shape of a crescent. They're in Victoria Park. We found a cache. Another slight argument ensued here. Jess sat on the bench and I went and took pictures. We argumentatively made our way over to our last stop in Bath, Thermae Spa. We were both looking forward to this as we have gone to the Blue Lagoon in Iceland and a place in New Zealand.
The Blue Lagoon, Thermae Spa is not. The water was barely fucking hot. We headed up to the pool on the roof and got in. Not hot. Barely piss warm. The rooftop pool was packed. You also were not allowed to take pictures. I suppose I wouldn't want me taking pictures if the place I owned sucked ass. So, not only was the pool packed but it was packed only by us with Asians. Perhaps we have Asian magnets in our asses or something but no less than eight Asians crowded around us. First a young couple floated next to us and then into me. I'm not admitting that I jammed him with my elbow but I might have.
Then these four Asian guys floated over our way. I think they were Japanese but I won't swear by it. Hey, I know a Korean guy who didn't know that another Asian guy was Korean so it's ook for me not to know where they were from. These were the four happiest motherfuckers you have ever seen. They were so excited to be in that lukewarm water, they were splashing around, yelling to each other an just being really giddy. I'm not sure if it was the jets in the floor making the bubbles that got them all excited or not but In my narration of the subtitles to Jess it was. repeat them but even I can admit they'd be inpropriate for here. If you've ever read Chuck Palanhiuk's "Guts", you'd know in part where I was going with this.
The next two to come over were two chicks who I think knew the guys because they were splashing each other. That is before the one chick pretty much decided to sit on my lap. I'm not trying to be funny. In 9 months I might have a child somewhere in Asia. The problem is that I wouldn't even know which country to look for it in!
Jess and I were getting along until this infidelity, which quite honestly wasn't my fault. Just kidding, we hung out in that area a little longer before heading to the steam rooms, which we couldn't use because they were scented and Jess hates smells. One was lavender but I don't think we even got to that one. There was eucalyptus and something else together. One of them was frankincense. WTF! We used the foot baths which were just stupid and then headed down to the Minerva Bath. We spent some time in there relaxing in the bubble area, and waiting for the spout to turn on, which it did, blasting Jess and catching her off guard. We headed out of the area and showered and got on our way. The showers were actually quite funny but I am probably not allowed to tell that story. Don't worry, no one got hurt and we're still talking.
We grabbed some starbucks and got to the bus to head on over to the car park and our hour drive to Wales.
I will admit that the dining room was packed. There ended up being three other local couples. All of them British, all of them with bad teeth. I don't get it. The pound is worth more than the dollar and they should be able to get their teeth fixed. I'm guessing it is either genetic or because of lead. Seriously, they made a lot of roofs from lead and then drank the water that came off them. Hey, it was the middle ages and what not but it could have had some serious effect on their dental evolution. In every place we go there are like four or five dentists but I swear they must only work on each other.
Anyway teeth aside, Bath is quite beautiful. Even the women were better looking here. Well, it was one of those days for your favorite traveling couple. It really is quite a surprise that we're both alive. If one of us were to have been killed though, it wouldn't have been me. Just sayin'.
We decided not to drive in to the city but to go to one of the park and rides just outside of it and take the bus in. At least we thought that was the plan. Maybe that was her plan and mine was something different or vice versa. (FYI - we're on the road to Cardiff, it's raining, dark and there's some crazy turns. Oh, boy).
Jess has to pee. Mind you it hasn't been much longer than 20 minutes since we left and she went before we left. She has to go really bad too. Like, eyeballs floating bad. She's got her legs crossed on the bus and practically in tears. She decides we should get off on the next stop and she makes a mad dash to the closest restaurant looking place and heads in. After a few minutes she comes back out and we are on our way to the abbey.
Inside, this abbey is easily the most beautiful one we have seen this trip. The ceiling is pretty ornate, the stained glass is very cool and some of it is painted. It's the usual story with the abbey. It was catholic, Henry VIII stole everything and it eventually became a C of E. We got tickets for the tower tour. It was pretty cool as well. Not as high nor as secret as the last one but it was still pretty cool. We saw where they ring the bells from, the bells and we even went out on top. You can see the city on all sides and the buildings are the same sandstone color they are in Salamanca and the architecture is pretty cool as well. It's what you do in Bath, walk around and look at the buildings - that and go to the Roman Baths.
I know I am going to sounds like a shithead but these would have been cool had we never been to Rome or seen Roman ruins elsewhere. I think I may be getting jaded. That would suck. I think part of it was ruined because there were a lot of annoying people all over the place. if you go, go early and try to avoid the crowds. apparently they can't multitask. God forbid you plug in the number in your audio guide and then walk. They all stand there mouth open and looking stupid. We made our way through the rest of the Baths and decided to head out and look for a cache or two and get some lunch. We're still not really talking at this point. Some growling and short answers and questions but we're ok.
We find one earth cache but believe the micro we are looking for is gone. We head in to some marketplace to get some food. I get a beef and veggie pie and some potato thing and Jess got some snacks and apples. The pie was good but the potato thing had some kind of Indian tasting shit in it. I'm good with most stuff but not Indian. I bit into that potato ball and wanted to vomit. I crumpled that thing up and downed a bunch of Coke to get the taste out of my mouth.
Out next stop was Pulteney Bridge, the Ponte Vecchio of England. Point Vecchio is a beautiful bridge in Florence with a bunch of shops from medieval times on it.
Yeah, not quite.
It's nice but it's not Ponte Vecchio. We walked across it and then back. There was a cool antique map store there. I figured it would be damn near impossible to get it back home without damage so, we didn't go in because I knew I would want to spend a good chunk of change.
Our next and last stop for tourist sites was the Royal Crescent. I don't remember what the story is behind it but they are basically this row of houses that are in the shape of a crescent. They're in Victoria Park. We found a cache. Another slight argument ensued here. Jess sat on the bench and I went and took pictures. We argumentatively made our way over to our last stop in Bath, Thermae Spa. We were both looking forward to this as we have gone to the Blue Lagoon in Iceland and a place in New Zealand.
The Blue Lagoon, Thermae Spa is not. The water was barely fucking hot. We headed up to the pool on the roof and got in. Not hot. Barely piss warm. The rooftop pool was packed. You also were not allowed to take pictures. I suppose I wouldn't want me taking pictures if the place I owned sucked ass. So, not only was the pool packed but it was packed only by us with Asians. Perhaps we have Asian magnets in our asses or something but no less than eight Asians crowded around us. First a young couple floated next to us and then into me. I'm not admitting that I jammed him with my elbow but I might have.
Then these four Asian guys floated over our way. I think they were Japanese but I won't swear by it. Hey, I know a Korean guy who didn't know that another Asian guy was Korean so it's ook for me not to know where they were from. These were the four happiest motherfuckers you have ever seen. They were so excited to be in that lukewarm water, they were splashing around, yelling to each other an just being really giddy. I'm not sure if it was the jets in the floor making the bubbles that got them all excited or not but In my narration of the subtitles to Jess it was. repeat them but even I can admit they'd be inpropriate for here. If you've ever read Chuck Palanhiuk's "Guts", you'd know in part where I was going with this.
The next two to come over were two chicks who I think knew the guys because they were splashing each other. That is before the one chick pretty much decided to sit on my lap. I'm not trying to be funny. In 9 months I might have a child somewhere in Asia. The problem is that I wouldn't even know which country to look for it in!
Jess and I were getting along until this infidelity, which quite honestly wasn't my fault. Just kidding, we hung out in that area a little longer before heading to the steam rooms, which we couldn't use because they were scented and Jess hates smells. One was lavender but I don't think we even got to that one. There was eucalyptus and something else together. One of them was frankincense. WTF! We used the foot baths which were just stupid and then headed down to the Minerva Bath. We spent some time in there relaxing in the bubble area, and waiting for the spout to turn on, which it did, blasting Jess and catching her off guard. We headed out of the area and showered and got on our way. The showers were actually quite funny but I am probably not allowed to tell that story. Don't worry, no one got hurt and we're still talking.
We grabbed some starbucks and got to the bus to head on over to the car park and our hour drive to Wales.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
I even pulled the fish!
(Disclaimer: When words in the blog make absolutely no sense, blame the iPad, I don't have time to edit.)
The other people in the hostel were fairly noisy this morning. I ended up waking up at 7:15 after going to bed close to one. Annoyed and tired, I decided I might as well get up and shower so we could get ourselves together and get on the way to Stonehenge.
We headed down to breakfast or at least where there was supposed to be breakfast. The guy showed us where it was going to be set up but it was 8:15 and there was no breakfast. So we took some cornflakes and I took some milk, which I am assuming belonged to the hostel and if it didn't I really didn't give a shit. I don't normally do that but hey, where the he'll was the breakfast?
We got in the car and headed to Stonehenge. Luckily the drive was pretty easy, not like last night's debacle. You can see Stonehenge from the road. Actually, if you're real cheap, you don't have to pay to see it at all. Had we not paid for the heritage pass I think Jess would have been happy to just view it from the road. I on the other hand needed to walk around it so that I could take pictures from different angles.
While I was taking pics, Jess was walking around the and listening to the audioguide. At one point when I caught up, she was being swarmed by Asian tourists. They really are like mosquitoes. The were all around her, taking their pictures and basically forcing her out of the area. It was quite humorous.
We walked the entire route around the area. To be quite honest, it was a bunch of big stones standing up and a few on top. Yes, I get it, how the hell did they get them there from Wales back then. But overall, it's a bunch of stones. I did manage to get some cool pics.
After being overawed by Stonehenge we decided to hit Woodhenge. Basically the same idea but with wood. Well, at some point it was. Now there are concrete posts where the wood was and there was a guy there cleaning off the tops of posts. It was a fucking rip off. It was part of the pass but in general it was a bit of a let down and pretty lame. Woodhenge.
We needed to get to Salisbury by 1 for our tour of the cathedral's tower but had to make a stop at Old Sarum first. this was the site of William of Normandy's castle or at least one of them. It is on a big hill and must have been quite imposing at one time. Now there are barely mortared walls no more than three feet high at their highest point. It was cool to see. There was also a cathedral there, one that would later be moved to Salisbury. Not physically, they just moved because the area and the castle itself were basically abandoned. It was really foggy here today and we could barely see anything let alone Salisbury.
We headed straight in to Salisbury and to find parking. We had a little while to get some food before heading over to the cathedral. We went to the Market Square where every Tuesday and Saturday they have an outdoor market. If you think it was some kind of coincidence that we were here on a Tuesday, you're wrong. The square where the market was was very cool. The tops of the shops were very medieval. We stopped at some guy who sold Greek food but I am not sure if He was Greek or not. Jess got some snacks and some dolmades and I got some bakalava - which for the record was fucking awesome! We continued to walk and ended up at a Thai place so I got some sort of beef and veggie thing with a skewer of chicken (because you can never go wrong with meat on a stick) and Jess got us a few spring rolls. The food was decent, the bakalava better and aside from eating really fast and feeling like I swallowed a guinea pig, it was a decent dining experience.
We dashed the rest of the way to the cathedral and mused why we always get heartburn and headed in to the tour. Robin our tour guide was a very knowledgeable guy and told us everything about the tower. If you ever have the opportunity to go and get an extensive tour of an old tower in a cathedral I highly recommend it. Just seeing how they made some of the joints was amazing.
Even more amazing was how they hand picked some of the boughs they needed dependent on their shape and thickness. Much of the original wood from 1200 is still there. We walked a total of 332 steps I believe and got to see some amazing engineering shit. There was even medieval metal supports in the stone in the towers. There was so much addition stuff added throughout the years it was really a surprise to see all of it there. We were even able to go outside at the bottom of the spire - which the extended further upwards. All in all well worth the hour and a half tour and additional three pounds each. So if you find yourself in Salisbury I strongly recommend going on this tour. Not only that, but there is a copy of the fucking Magna Carta! Waaaaaaaay cool if you're into history or if you even remember anything from social studies - the nobles forced bad King John to sign their liberties into law. Awesome.
We walked out of the area and were headed back to the car when I realized that we had forgotten to find the geocache near the cathedral. We raced back because we needed to be back at the car for 4:15, found the cache (a virt) and then headed back to the car. There were a few things we didn't get to see, so we decided that we'd put in for another hour and head back out to St. Thomas' church, named after Thomas Beckett. There was a painting on the arch which was there from I think the 1400s the latest was painted over during the reformation and then rediscovered in the 18th c. We then walked back to the market square to get me some shorts to wear in to one of the baths tomorrow and then some shots of the area. With that out of the way we headed back to the car and on to Bath or just outside of it.
Now, I have to stop to say, and I hope I am wrong but there's a good chance something horrible will happen to England within the next six months to around a year. Everywhere we go, we leave destruction. When we went to New Orleans, Katrina hit a few weeks later. We went to Iceland and about 14 months later, the volcano blew, Spain - the economy collapsed (thought I am not taking credit for that one with the way we were spending money) and now New Zealand, the first earthquake and now this one - so scary, we were there, in that church, listening to the choir one night.
So, if you plan on visiting England, do it soon, or after a year and a half or something.
We had some minor difficulties getting in to the B&B this evening but nothing major as we're quite resourceful. Ian, the man in charge is real nice and seems to share many of the same political views we do. He pointed us in the direction of the local pub and the food was quite tasty, I had a nice lamb shank and some veggies and Jess, that's right, had a bunch of veggies. I had two new beers, Doom Bay and Butcombe, two bitters that were fairly local brews. After eating we retired to the other room of the pub near the fireplace and hung out for a bit.
We headed back to the B&B and Jess decided to shower but needed assistance. Get your minds out of the gutter. She couldn't figure out how to turn the shower on. Don't laugh because it's not as easy as you would think. As a matter of fact, I am still not sure what you need to do to turn it on. She showed me everything and told me that she pushed every button and what do I think. She even informed me that she "Pulled the fish", which was hanging on a string outside the shower. We decided to try to turn on the tub and then press the buttons and that didn't work, so I yanked on the the fish again and voila - water.
We're sitting in bed and amazingly, Something About Mary is on - we've had numerous references to this movie this trip including seeing Magda and the song Build Me Up Buttercup. When we left, we were in the same spot we saw Cameron Diaz when we left JFK for NZ, not to mention a scary Chris Elliot reference the week before. I'm going to check my hair gel now.
AAAAAaaaaaa!!! It was that exact part!!!!
The other people in the hostel were fairly noisy this morning. I ended up waking up at 7:15 after going to bed close to one. Annoyed and tired, I decided I might as well get up and shower so we could get ourselves together and get on the way to Stonehenge.
We headed down to breakfast or at least where there was supposed to be breakfast. The guy showed us where it was going to be set up but it was 8:15 and there was no breakfast. So we took some cornflakes and I took some milk, which I am assuming belonged to the hostel and if it didn't I really didn't give a shit. I don't normally do that but hey, where the he'll was the breakfast?
We got in the car and headed to Stonehenge. Luckily the drive was pretty easy, not like last night's debacle. You can see Stonehenge from the road. Actually, if you're real cheap, you don't have to pay to see it at all. Had we not paid for the heritage pass I think Jess would have been happy to just view it from the road. I on the other hand needed to walk around it so that I could take pictures from different angles.
While I was taking pics, Jess was walking around the and listening to the audioguide. At one point when I caught up, she was being swarmed by Asian tourists. They really are like mosquitoes. The were all around her, taking their pictures and basically forcing her out of the area. It was quite humorous.
We walked the entire route around the area. To be quite honest, it was a bunch of big stones standing up and a few on top. Yes, I get it, how the hell did they get them there from Wales back then. But overall, it's a bunch of stones. I did manage to get some cool pics.
After being overawed by Stonehenge we decided to hit Woodhenge. Basically the same idea but with wood. Well, at some point it was. Now there are concrete posts where the wood was and there was a guy there cleaning off the tops of posts. It was a fucking rip off. It was part of the pass but in general it was a bit of a let down and pretty lame. Woodhenge.
We needed to get to Salisbury by 1 for our tour of the cathedral's tower but had to make a stop at Old Sarum first. this was the site of William of Normandy's castle or at least one of them. It is on a big hill and must have been quite imposing at one time. Now there are barely mortared walls no more than three feet high at their highest point. It was cool to see. There was also a cathedral there, one that would later be moved to Salisbury. Not physically, they just moved because the area and the castle itself were basically abandoned. It was really foggy here today and we could barely see anything let alone Salisbury.
We headed straight in to Salisbury and to find parking. We had a little while to get some food before heading over to the cathedral. We went to the Market Square where every Tuesday and Saturday they have an outdoor market. If you think it was some kind of coincidence that we were here on a Tuesday, you're wrong. The square where the market was was very cool. The tops of the shops were very medieval. We stopped at some guy who sold Greek food but I am not sure if He was Greek or not. Jess got some snacks and some dolmades and I got some bakalava - which for the record was fucking awesome! We continued to walk and ended up at a Thai place so I got some sort of beef and veggie thing with a skewer of chicken (because you can never go wrong with meat on a stick) and Jess got us a few spring rolls. The food was decent, the bakalava better and aside from eating really fast and feeling like I swallowed a guinea pig, it was a decent dining experience.
We dashed the rest of the way to the cathedral and mused why we always get heartburn and headed in to the tour. Robin our tour guide was a very knowledgeable guy and told us everything about the tower. If you ever have the opportunity to go and get an extensive tour of an old tower in a cathedral I highly recommend it. Just seeing how they made some of the joints was amazing.
Even more amazing was how they hand picked some of the boughs they needed dependent on their shape and thickness. Much of the original wood from 1200 is still there. We walked a total of 332 steps I believe and got to see some amazing engineering shit. There was even medieval metal supports in the stone in the towers. There was so much addition stuff added throughout the years it was really a surprise to see all of it there. We were even able to go outside at the bottom of the spire - which the extended further upwards. All in all well worth the hour and a half tour and additional three pounds each. So if you find yourself in Salisbury I strongly recommend going on this tour. Not only that, but there is a copy of the fucking Magna Carta! Waaaaaaaay cool if you're into history or if you even remember anything from social studies - the nobles forced bad King John to sign their liberties into law. Awesome.
We walked out of the area and were headed back to the car when I realized that we had forgotten to find the geocache near the cathedral. We raced back because we needed to be back at the car for 4:15, found the cache (a virt) and then headed back to the car. There were a few things we didn't get to see, so we decided that we'd put in for another hour and head back out to St. Thomas' church, named after Thomas Beckett. There was a painting on the arch which was there from I think the 1400s the latest was painted over during the reformation and then rediscovered in the 18th c. We then walked back to the market square to get me some shorts to wear in to one of the baths tomorrow and then some shots of the area. With that out of the way we headed back to the car and on to Bath or just outside of it.Now, I have to stop to say, and I hope I am wrong but there's a good chance something horrible will happen to England within the next six months to around a year. Everywhere we go, we leave destruction. When we went to New Orleans, Katrina hit a few weeks later. We went to Iceland and about 14 months later, the volcano blew, Spain - the economy collapsed (thought I am not taking credit for that one with the way we were spending money) and now New Zealand, the first earthquake and now this one - so scary, we were there, in that church, listening to the choir one night.
So, if you plan on visiting England, do it soon, or after a year and a half or something.
We had some minor difficulties getting in to the B&B this evening but nothing major as we're quite resourceful. Ian, the man in charge is real nice and seems to share many of the same political views we do. He pointed us in the direction of the local pub and the food was quite tasty, I had a nice lamb shank and some veggies and Jess, that's right, had a bunch of veggies. I had two new beers, Doom Bay and Butcombe, two bitters that were fairly local brews. After eating we retired to the other room of the pub near the fireplace and hung out for a bit.
We headed back to the B&B and Jess decided to shower but needed assistance. Get your minds out of the gutter. She couldn't figure out how to turn the shower on. Don't laugh because it's not as easy as you would think. As a matter of fact, I am still not sure what you need to do to turn it on. She showed me everything and told me that she pushed every button and what do I think. She even informed me that she "Pulled the fish", which was hanging on a string outside the shower. We decided to try to turn on the tub and then press the buttons and that didn't work, so I yanked on the the fish again and voila - water.
We're sitting in bed and amazingly, Something About Mary is on - we've had numerous references to this movie this trip including seeing Magda and the song Build Me Up Buttercup. When we left, we were in the same spot we saw Cameron Diaz when we left JFK for NZ, not to mention a scary Chris Elliot reference the week before. I'm going to check my hair gel now.
AAAAAaaaaaa!!! It was that exact part!!!!
Castles, sheep, sheep shit and shit.
We agreed that we would have breakfast at 7:30. I guess we didn't want to rock the boat or something because that's when Larry usually eats, besides, we had a ton to do today. We ended up getting out of bed at 7:15 and they seemed pretty proper so I decided to shower rather than go down in my PJs. The shower was good - actually everyone has been so far (there's only been two). Got down and the breakfast was ready - the full English, sausages, two eggs, tomato, beans, bacon, potato and I think that's it. We chatted some more with Larry who has lived everywhere. He's lived a ton in Africa - the Congo, Zambia and I forget the other place.
After scarfin down the breakfast - it was huge and good, we headed upstairs to finish the packing and get on our way. But not before the first mustache of the trip...
We got our stuff out to the car and walked around the people's property for a minute just to see some of it. As we turned the corner, we saw all the sheep crowding into a corner and one of the dogs was herding them. Some of the sheep tried to run but he moved a little and kept them in the pile. It was pretty cool to watch the dog work. We were done and headed back to the car and Jess yells, "WTF is that? Some huge animal like a buffalo just ran by those trees." A buffalo, really. We headed out and down the road, and saw the black pony-buffalo on the property next to the farm.
We also saw the unicorn Jess saw the evening before. By unicorn, she means white pony.
Now that we were on the road, we headed to the town of Rye. It is an old medieval city and has cobblestone streets and is really very quaint. When you hear about an English country village, this is it. It's one of those places that looks exactly like the pictures. The streets are hilly and the building are all clearly very old. Most are slanted or slightly pitched. It was very cool - small but I am glad we stopped. We found a few geocaches while we were there as as well.
From Rye it was on to Battle - the site of the Battle of Hastings in 1066 when William the Conqueror of Normandy defeated King Harold of England and then became the King of England as well. With William came all the Norman architecture. When the battle was done, he commanded that an abbey be built there as well. It was a huge thriving abbey which of course met its decline with Henry VIII. The abbey of course is now in ruins but some of the buildings are now being used as a school. I love ruins - I could walk around them for hours. We were able to go in to the main area where the monks lived. It was two rooms, one on top of the other and they were quite large. We walked around for a little more and then headed to the tower gate.
We zipped back to the car because it was getting late and we had at least two more stops, Bodiam Castle and Penshurst Palace. The GPS lady has been talking us on all scenic roads. Real small fucking country roads. At times it's a little scary but otherwise pretty beautiful. We made it to Bodiam with little to no problem - some slight GPS set up issues but we did get there. This was one of the spots I was waiting to see. When you think castle, you think of Bodiam. Big towers in four corners, a moat and all stone. You have probably seen pictures but if not, you're about to.
Jess was waiting for me to get back to her and some lady didn't have her dog on a leash - and so of course, it's going to run over to Jess to get a whiff. But this one was either young or totally untrained and he jumped up on her. Not the best thing - especially when she didn't expect it. Aside from probably peeing on herself, she was ok. She's a trooper. The woman just kind of looked at us while putting the dog on his collar. I stared down the man until he apologized and then the lady did too. Jerks. The race was back on as we needed to get to Penshurst before 4:30. The GPS said we would be there by 4:30. We zipped through the country roads, trying to figure out why the lady didn't bring us on an major roads but we did arrive on the property by 4:31. We spoke with a guy at the gate, who liked to talk and repeat himself and eventually got out of him and his cruddy teeth that the area was still open and people might be at the shop but we might now be able to get in. We parked and headed up there and the woman tell us, (insert condescending British accent here: "Um, no sorry. All the areas are closed and there is no one at the house." Which is British for, "I could make an exception being as it's only a few minutes but I'm not going to." Jess asks if it's possible that we could just run up and take a pic or two (I'm thinking 50) of the front of the palace. "Um, no it's not. Sorry. You can get a good view of it from the road." In British she means, "Like the rabble used to do as they gathered sheep shit in the fields." Little did we know how true this statement was. So we left - didn't buy any postcards of the place. You're not getting my money biatch, which in American is bitch. So we used the can and headed out. I told Jess, "Hey at least we can get the 'I peed at Penhurst Palace!" t-shirts, to which she asked, "They really have those?"
We headed in to the town which was really cool and from the road I could see this cemetery next to a church. It looked cool so we stopped and headed in.
Before getting there, there was a little court of medieval buildings which were definitely original and looked like they could have used some work. We decided to walk around the cemetery which backed up to Penshurst palace. We tried to shoot a pic or two over a gate but it wasn't working too well. We walked through the cemetery and Jess found another gate which was a public footpath (there's tons here). So, we said fuck it and headed in. There was a huge field and...Penshurst Palace!
There was a wall and some hedges so you didn't get the fullest view possible but you could see the place - saving us 19 pounds. There were also about a billion sheep. And where there's sheep, there's sheep shit. Tons of it. We were a little apprehensive about walking around to get closer to the house. We didn't want to get into any disagreements with the sheep and neither of us wanted to get butted. Jess announces that she's been butted by a sheep before, which prompts my, "Is there any fucking animal that hasn't attacked you?" We laugh and decide to move onward because we've already made it this far. And the sheep, like good sheep do, start walking away as we approach - unlike the sheep in Wales which head towards you. I can only imagine what goes on there. We wade our way around to the private entrance, snap a few shots and then head back. As we are walking, I start gasp and then start to run, Jess is like "Oh shit" and starts taking off. I stop and start laughing - she's not too happy. It was funny.
We then took off for the short trip to Chiddingstone. The town is seriously a block and that's it. Yeah, it's medieval and shit, but it's a block. I'm glad we didn't waste too much time. We had an hour and a half trip to Salisbury - very near to Stonehenge, which we hit tomorrow. They say you can see it form the road but, we have the visitor's pass and might as well use that thing. Again, the ride was pretty uneventful except for the fact that we can't really put an address in to the GPS for the Youth Hostel. So we enter the closest intersection. As we get closer and closer we're not really sure how we're supposed to turn off this highway and on to the road we need to. That being said, we zip past it and hope the GPS will take us the right way. But she send us back and after a few bungles, we are able to get to the road but from the other side of the highway. Don't ask. We make it unscathed on to the fucking ridiculously dark road and to the hostel. After checking in and getting our stuff we head down to the pub to stuff ourselves. Well, I stuffed myself and Jess ate veggies. The potato had butter and she said, "Mmmm this has butter, it's good. But I don't have to have butter, it's fine without it. It's not like I miss it or anything..." Yeah, huh?
After scarfin down the breakfast - it was huge and good, we headed upstairs to finish the packing and get on our way. But not before the first mustache of the trip...
We got our stuff out to the car and walked around the people's property for a minute just to see some of it. As we turned the corner, we saw all the sheep crowding into a corner and one of the dogs was herding them. Some of the sheep tried to run but he moved a little and kept them in the pile. It was pretty cool to watch the dog work. We were done and headed back to the car and Jess yells, "WTF is that? Some huge animal like a buffalo just ran by those trees." A buffalo, really. We headed out and down the road, and saw the black pony-buffalo on the property next to the farm.
We also saw the unicorn Jess saw the evening before. By unicorn, she means white pony.
Now that we were on the road, we headed to the town of Rye. It is an old medieval city and has cobblestone streets and is really very quaint. When you hear about an English country village, this is it. It's one of those places that looks exactly like the pictures. The streets are hilly and the building are all clearly very old. Most are slanted or slightly pitched. It was very cool - small but I am glad we stopped. We found a few geocaches while we were there as as well.
From Rye it was on to Battle - the site of the Battle of Hastings in 1066 when William the Conqueror of Normandy defeated King Harold of England and then became the King of England as well. With William came all the Norman architecture. When the battle was done, he commanded that an abbey be built there as well. It was a huge thriving abbey which of course met its decline with Henry VIII. The abbey of course is now in ruins but some of the buildings are now being used as a school. I love ruins - I could walk around them for hours. We were able to go in to the main area where the monks lived. It was two rooms, one on top of the other and they were quite large. We walked around for a little more and then headed to the tower gate.
 |
| Bodiam Castle |
We zipped back to the car because it was getting late and we had at least two more stops, Bodiam Castle and Penshurst Palace. The GPS lady has been talking us on all scenic roads. Real small fucking country roads. At times it's a little scary but otherwise pretty beautiful. We made it to Bodiam with little to no problem - some slight GPS set up issues but we did get there. This was one of the spots I was waiting to see. When you think castle, you think of Bodiam. Big towers in four corners, a moat and all stone. You have probably seen pictures but if not, you're about to.Jess was waiting for me to get back to her and some lady didn't have her dog on a leash - and so of course, it's going to run over to Jess to get a whiff. But this one was either young or totally untrained and he jumped up on her. Not the best thing - especially when she didn't expect it. Aside from probably peeing on herself, she was ok. She's a trooper. The woman just kind of looked at us while putting the dog on his collar. I stared down the man until he apologized and then the lady did too. Jerks. The race was back on as we needed to get to Penshurst before 4:30. The GPS said we would be there by 4:30. We zipped through the country roads, trying to figure out why the lady didn't bring us on an major roads but we did arrive on the property by 4:31. We spoke with a guy at the gate, who liked to talk and repeat himself and eventually got out of him and his cruddy teeth that the area was still open and people might be at the shop but we might now be able to get in. We parked and headed up there and the woman tell us, (insert condescending British accent here: "Um, no sorry. All the areas are closed and there is no one at the house." Which is British for, "I could make an exception being as it's only a few minutes but I'm not going to." Jess asks if it's possible that we could just run up and take a pic or two (I'm thinking 50) of the front of the palace. "Um, no it's not. Sorry. You can get a good view of it from the road." In British she means, "Like the rabble used to do as they gathered sheep shit in the fields." Little did we know how true this statement was. So we left - didn't buy any postcards of the place. You're not getting my money biatch, which in American is bitch. So we used the can and headed out. I told Jess, "Hey at least we can get the 'I peed at Penhurst Palace!" t-shirts, to which she asked, "They really have those?"
We headed in to the town which was really cool and from the road I could see this cemetery next to a church. It looked cool so we stopped and headed in.
Before getting there, there was a little court of medieval buildings which were definitely original and looked like they could have used some work. We decided to walk around the cemetery which backed up to Penshurst palace. We tried to shoot a pic or two over a gate but it wasn't working too well. We walked through the cemetery and Jess found another gate which was a public footpath (there's tons here). So, we said fuck it and headed in. There was a huge field and...Penshurst Palace!
 |
| Penshurst Palace |
 |
| The Killer Sheep |
We then took off for the short trip to Chiddingstone. The town is seriously a block and that's it. Yeah, it's medieval and shit, but it's a block. I'm glad we didn't waste too much time. We had an hour and a half trip to Salisbury - very near to Stonehenge, which we hit tomorrow. They say you can see it form the road but, we have the visitor's pass and might as well use that thing. Again, the ride was pretty uneventful except for the fact that we can't really put an address in to the GPS for the Youth Hostel. So we enter the closest intersection. As we get closer and closer we're not really sure how we're supposed to turn off this highway and on to the road we need to. That being said, we zip past it and hope the GPS will take us the right way. But she send us back and after a few bungles, we are able to get to the road but from the other side of the highway. Don't ask. We make it unscathed on to the fucking ridiculously dark road and to the hostel. After checking in and getting our stuff we head down to the pub to stuff ourselves. Well, I stuffed myself and Jess ate veggies. The potato had butter and she said, "Mmmm this has butter, it's good. But I don't have to have butter, it's fine without it. It's not like I miss it or anything..." Yeah, huh?
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